Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I am...

Difficult, stubborn, opinionated, a trouble maker, an advocate for change, a malcontent, someone of integrity, rash, calculating, and many other things depending on who you ask.  Today was another one of those frustrating days, more so than my promotion feedback.  Compounding on the activities of today are the fact that I am still recovering from surgery, in pain, (trying to) sleep on the couch because it hurts to much to lie down, have swelling and two surgical drains, and the strongest pain med I can take is Tylenol.  Monday I took an action on principle. Tuesday, I got raked across the coals for it.

I don't agree with the actions that many of the people took in response to the incident, but specifically, it was the response that I undid because I could point to a reason that was not allowed per our rules.  This started a long argument over the fact that TPTB had made that decision and I should have consulted with them first, even though they had made no communication to us about that decision, not consulted with the team before making it, and violated our terms of use in the process.  There are still things that should be addressed there, but the action I took was actually to try and fan out some of the flames rather than feed the conspiracy theory fires.  Management did not agree.  Since I was literally in a corner, and had two people attacking me for my actions, I became very agitated which drove my blood pressure through the roof, and got me to the point of tears, shaking, and an unsteady voice, because their comments amounted to attacks on my integrity from my point of view.  I explained myself as best I could and also informed them I was moving on.  The later part was not entirely a rash decision, I had been contemplating it for some time, and had actually given myself a deadline of the end of this week to make a decision, this incident just tipped the scales in one direction.

Ironically, this all happened just days after I found out that I was put forward to the next level for promotion (yeah, that is not happening now) and got a cash award.  But I am just a lose cannon with no integrity apparently, so, explain that.


Tad Callin said...

So you are being punished for exercising the qualities for which you are valued? Sounds like TPTB value control over leadership.

Michael Crutchfield said...

Yeah, management likes when you stand up to anyone except management on the grounds of principle. I have done this multiple times in my career and is usually a catalyst for me moving to a new position based on managements response.