Friday, November 23, 2012

Maybe it is Just Me

I seem to have a cycle.  Find new office, love my job, management change happens, hate my job, start search for new office.  The question I am faced with is, it it just me?  Am I just that unable to adapt to a management change, or have I had the absolute worst luck when it comes to managers? I have tried several approaches.  I have attempted to express the reasons I am unsatisfied to change the course of events.  I have expressed these feelings to both my direct supervisor and their supervisor at times.  This occasionally leads to a temporary resolution of issues, but usually doesn't last long.  I have tried to find ways to just adapt to the changes that have occurred, which usually results in me resenting my job even more, and trying to hasten my departure.  I can't seem to keep myself in the state of mind to stay in the office after whatever change occurs.

So, am I the one who is the "problem" through my inability to adapt?  I hope not.  My desire to depart from my current office has existed for 5-6 months now, but I was trying to hold out until my project was completed.  Things continued to spiral downwards until about 2 months ago when I finally made the decision it was time to leave my office.  Several people had been trying to recruit me for one office, so I finally explored that option and decided it would be a good place for me to move to, but in the last two months, no progress has been made.  During this time, I have been wearing down more, growing weary of my current office and losing the drive that has allowed me to be so successful* the last 20 months or so.  *Successful as judged by my customers, not by my management, as was reflected in my performance review.

So, am I the problem?  Is there something about my personality, some failing, that doesn't allow me to adapt?  Maybe I am just drawn to offices that no one tends to understand and there are just few managers that are proper for the task.  I don't know, but I am burning out and need to move soon, or somehow rediscover my passion for my job until I can finally depart.  If I can't recapture that passion, and I am stuck where I am for a while still, I won't be able to produce the kind of work that I feel I should nor that my customers have come to expect, which would be the hardest change for me to adapt to.

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