Monday, February 9, 2009

Egg Roll Arms Race

Chrissy and I had Chinese food tonight. We had Egg Rolls to start. These were the biggest Egg Rolls we have had state-side (we had bigger in Germany). So, first I thought about how some Chinese restaurant probably touts themselves as having the Biggest Egg Roll in town, and how that would invariably cause an Egg Roll Arms Race where the Chinese places try to out-do each other with bigger and bigger Egg Rolls. If the train of thought had stopped there, it would have been humorous, but of course, my train of thought when even further.

People say that eventually the Chinese will rule the world, and I figured out how. First you have to keep in mind two facts: 1 - Chinese food always make you feel hungry again much sooner than other food (for an unknown reason) and 2 - MSG can screw with your sleep patterns.

Step 1 - Have Chinese food supplant all other types of cuisine. It will take time, but they are willing to wait.
Step 2 - Heavily dose all Chinese food (except for in China obviously) with extremely large doses of MSG.

Now, everyone is having screwed up sleep patterns and they are always hungry since the Chinese food doesn't fill them up, leaving the Chinese army an opening to take over the world. Our only hope is to come up with something to combat the Egg Roll offensive!

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