Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Damaged goods Part 33 1/3...

As I sit here listing to Fall Out Boy, I decided to write what should be the last part of the "Damaged Goods" series (at least I plan to catch you up till the present).

So, I last left off in Fall (if you could call it a fall) of 2001 right as Chrissy and I met. We were hitting it off really well, and we even went up to Jersey for Thanksgiving with her Family. That facet of things was going swimmingly. Other things, not so much. I was not a good roommate and consequently damaged some friendships. Despite always being told I have such a friendly personality (well, usually, push me to my breaking point and I WILL snap at you) there are certain traits about me that make me a bad person to live with (I am still not sure how Chrissy puts up with me).

I am selfish, lazy and inconsiderate, especially with people I spend a LOT of time with. I know where I picked up some of those traits, but regardless of where I picked them up, I shouldn't have let them become traits that define me. For that I am ashamed and sorry. College actually promoted my laziness because I managed to get good grades in most cases with little effort and attending very few classes. That helped contribute to my weight gain and made it even harder on me when I made the transition to the "real world". While I had routinely had summer jobs, I was used to the amoutn of free time I was able to have in College during the semester, so working through the summer wasn't a surprise, but rather working full-time through the rest of the year that was the surprise.

Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself. My relationship with Chrissy, and actually having a decent paying job coming out of College were two of the bright spots in my life at that time. I further continued to alienate roommates the first year after college when Chrissy and I shared an apartment with Jimmy and Steph. By the end of that time, we weren't that cordial, at least not in my mind, and there was at least a significant part of that that was my fault. The only roommate I am not in contact with from the Courtyards at all is Bryce, but I don't know where he ended up because he was still at UM when the rest of us graduated and haven't found him on facebook.

My job required regular (once a month on average) travel, usually to Tampa, Fl. There is where my weight became a significant problem, but also a constant source of depression due to airline seats. Chrissy and I tried LA Weightloss (albiet probably half-heartedly) and made no progress with that. The travel got to me anyway (although it did manage to get me to Hawaii, San Diego, and San Antonio and Chrissy came along to Hawaii and San Diego) and I changed jobs. Around that time is when Chrissy and I started doing Weight Watchers. I had made significant progress losing approximately 80lbs. My job was in turmoil at this point so I decided it was time for a change, and felt an overseas tour would do me good, so I applied for a couple jobs, one of which was in Germany.

I had cleared the potential locations with Chrissy before I applied and I knoew that if she was going to come with me we would have to be married (I was planning on getting to that in the near future anyway because we had been together for almost 4 years at that point.) Once I found out that I had gotten the job in Germany, I kept it a secret for ~2 weeks. With the cover of going with Matt to Dave and Busters, we hit up a jewelry store that lots of my relatives use. I found the perfect ring, and once I got it, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Chrissy was taking me out for a nice dinner for my birthday at Windows on the Bay in Pasadena. I decided I would use that opportunity to propose (so I would have at least one good memory of that day). It rained during dinner and I was prepared to propose there, but it cleared up near the end of the meal, so I suggested we go for a walk down on the docks. I don't remember what I said leading up to it, but as I opened the box I said that there was no one I would rather take to Germany and spend the rest of my life with.

Dammit...these things keep pressing on much longer than I intend, but I AM going to finish it this time! tension

Back to finish this thing after a LONG time away from the computer.

Ok, so we are now prepping to move to Germany (which was moved from June 06->April 06->February 06) and have to get married before that, sell our house, and do a bunch of other stuff. We settle on a simple civil service at the court hours in Annapolis with a reception afterwards at Windows on the Bay in Pasedena. In this time, both of us begin to gain weight again because we are packing, cleaning the house and eating out. We finally get to Germany and the weight gain continues (because we are in a hotel for 10 days eating out EVERY meal) and then frequently eating American comfort food on base once we had our house. That slowed down until things took a turn.

June 06 - Chrissy has a seizure for unknown reasons. Lots of stress over the next couple of months while we try to get her to see an American Neurologist because the Germans think she has MS. That diagnosis is confirmed by the Neuro at Landstuhl (but it was HELL getting an appointment).

~Sep 06 - I have severe pains in my side, taking to the hospital. Diagnosis - Gall Stones. By October I am flying back to the states to have surgery to have my gallbladder removed after numerous very painful attacks (including on our Anniversary in Belgium).

- Early 07 - I start having severe headaches. After going around and around and around, the apparent diagnosis is Migraines. (FUN)

- June 07 - After going to the hospital several times for severe abdominal pain, Die Germans finally deside my appendix must come out. This is 1 week before we are supposed to fly to London for Chrissy's birthday (Another vacation ruined by an illness that lead to surgery)

Most of our time in Germany, I have severe health anxiety issues, my weight far exceeds any amount that I had lost before, and I get into a habbit of spending money, because my salary is higher, and we don't have to pay a mortgage or rent while we are in Germany.

We come back to the states in March 08 to look at developments (we wanted new construction). To cope with the home prices, we decided we were willing to live across the bridge to get the house we wanted instead of settling for something that we kind of liked. We pick our plot, yada yada yada, our house will be built by end of July.

Now, in what can best be described as a manic state (you know, like manic->depressive) I decide we will trade in our COMPLETELY PAID OFF 2006 BMW 325i for a 2008 BMW 135i Convertible. So, now we are about to have a mortgage for the first time in 2 1/2 years AND we will have a car payment for a REALLY expensive car. Smart move dumbass. My spending habbits did not curtail either. Then we go to settlement. Things are still ok though because we will both be over seas for a while longer so payments seem like nothing. Then we move back here.

Combine our last few trips in Europe + stuff for new house + bad spending habbits = mounds of credit card debit that we are only able to gradually deal with because of Mortgage + Car payment + sudo car payment + bills + living expenses. That leads up to now and that describes why I am in such a horrible mood these days. I still have my up days and my down days, and we are gradually paying down all of the debt, but it will take time, and the fact that I let myself get in this state makes me very dissapointed in myself. And that, more so than much of the other stuff that has happened in my life, is why I feel I am "Damaged Goods" right now.

So, we will now return you to your normally scheduled programming of random posts about random crap. Hopefully cheerier ones at that. Time will tell.

1 comment:

Christopher said...

I can't say I had nearly as big of a debt pile, but I did run into something similar.

The DeWeese's decided to get back into motorcycling. My dad, mom and brother Jon all bought bikes. So I decided I could afford to get one to (it was a used 06 Suzuki Boulevard m50... not too expensive).

However, at the same time Sara's Mom invites us on a bout 3.5 weeks of vacations -- 1 week in Maui, 1 week in the "Big Island" of hawaii and 1.5 weeks in Vegas. So even though room and board were free, between entertainment, food and plane tickets we wind up spending a TON.

On top of all this, I had started ~4 months earlier a refinancing of my house. Because my bank took SO long in refinancing, the value of my house had come down enough that I was over the % required to refi. So I had to pay down the principle out of pocket.

So I can't say I had nearly as big a pile as you, but I definitely feel your pain.

Good luck?